PsychotiCorp's United Political Party Stands On The
There are lot of strange but exciting things going on
inside this guy's head:
ideas don't just fall out of the sky you know. It
takes a creative and sometimes mentally unstable mind to
cook some of them up. Fortunately for us, we have
both of those factors working in our favor. Dr
Psychotic's latest whacky ideas have manifested
themselves in the form of his political platform.
See where he stands on the issues by reading the
Political Platform: Where we stand on the issues you care
about and some you don't.
We all know that neither the democrats nor the Republicans are
doing anything about all of the manufacturing jobs that are
being exported to other countries. Everyone is wondering what
will become of the United States once all of the manufacturing
jobs are exported. Well P.U.P.P. has developed a rapid job
export plan. After all, we are just as curious as the next
guy, we want to find out what will happen too. We just don't
want to wait too long to find out. We want to know now! Our
plan calls for expediting the process and providing financial
incentives for businesses currently toying with the idea of
moving their manufacturing operations outside of the United
Campaign Finance Reform:
P.U.P.P. believes that corporations should be allowed to give
all of the money they want to political campaigns and
organizations. This will allow our parent corporation to
control the political system.
Recently, lawsuits have been filed against the U.S. government
because of some people who attempted to enter the country
illegally, dying of thirst in the desert. In order to prevent
future lawsuits, we've devised a new plan. Water fountains
alone simply just aren't good enough. Nothing less than luxury
accommodations for those illegally entering our country will
do. Sure it will be expensive, but given the fact that we
spend about 20 billion a year already on illegal immigrants,
what's another 40 billion? Let's not forget the 30% of legal
Mexican immigrants that are already on welfare either. Why
should they have to scrape by on food stamps simply because
they refuse to work? Why can't the rest of us just work harder
to pick up the slack? It's alright with the Republicans and
fine with the Democrats, so any legislation to this effect
should just fly through congress no matter which party
Of course taxes will have to be increased to pay for our
programs but we're not going to play that old class warfare
game. We intend to overburden all taxpayers equally.
Some don't think it's fair or morally right to pass a massive
debt onto future generations. We agree. In fact, we intend to
accumulate such a massive debt so incredibly fast that the
economic collapse would be almost immediate. But think of the
good time we'll have just before it all goes up in smoke.
We also believe that the quality of education in the inner
cities is downright horrible. It's not fair when the students
in the suburbs get a better quality education. We have a new
plan called no child left ahead. We plan on cutting the
education budget to the extent where the children in the
suburbs will have just as poor an education as those in the
inner city. It's only fair. So when people say: "Why can't
little Johnny read?" We'll just answer with: "Because little
Johnny is frickin' stoopid, that's why!" We've got to blame
somebody don't we? It's all little Johnny's fault!
We believe that gays should have the same marriage rights as
the rest of the population. We believe that any gay man should
be free to marry any woman he pleases and that any lesbian
should be able to marry whatever man she wants. Fair is fair!
First Amendment Rights:
We believe that people should have the right to say anything
they want as long as they don't say anything that offends us.
Given our lack of morals, that ain't a whole hell of a lot!
We intend to cut the military budget significantly. However,
we do have a lot of Boy Scouts and Girls Scouts in this
country who can be used to fill in the vacancies. Besides,
they can sell cookies to fund the defense budget.
Labor unions have not been effective at all in the process of
stopping the flow of manufacturing jobs overseas. The problem
with unions is that they actually have standards. You see, if
we just treated all of our workers like crap, and dumped all
of the waste anywhere we damn well pleased, it would be easier
to compete against the other countries that don't have labor
laws or environmental standards. We'll take the union's money
though, after all, the Democrats have been doing it for years
and the jobs still go overseas.
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