Is your trouser trout more like the
size of a guppy? No problem, we here at Monster Worm can help.
We have developed a patch that can make your penis grow within
five minutes of being applied. I know, you've seen the ads on
the Internet and have been hit with countless e-mails and spam
regarding the same subject, making the same promises. But now
you can finally breathe a sigh of relief because we have the
genuine article. No gimmicks whatsoever. Just apply the patch
and your penis will grow one inch every half hour. That's right
an inch a half hour. So order yourself the patch now!
 Warning:
Application of this patch for more than 3 hours can cause your
penis to grow to an extraordinary length and thickness, since
the rate of growth increases significantly with each passing
hour. For more information regarding this phenomenon, read the
story below. |
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The Story of Rip Van Weiner & His Over Usage of the Enlargement
Patch: |
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WARNING: This is One Scary Tale. Send the Kids to
Bed:
Once upon a time, there was a
man named Rip Van Weiner who had a very tiny penis.
Almost microscopic. In fact, he had to squat to pee. One
day, he decided to give the Monster Worm Penis
Enlargement Patch a Try. So he bought it on the Internet
because everything you buy on the Internet is so
reliable and all the ads and stories that you see on the
Internet are always true. Within a few days, he received
his very discreetly packaged box (to avoid embarrassment
and ridicule) containing the product. He immediately
applied the patch to his arm but fell asleep while
watching Moby Dick. He slept for over twelve hours. When
he awoke, his penis was approximately 30 feet in length. |
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Horrified, he didn't know what
to do. He discovered that he could not consume enough food to
maintain a healthy body weight because the penis was taking up
all of his body's nutrients. When aroused, his penis would
demand so much blood that the remaining portion of his body
would go completely limp, rendering him paralyzed until the
arousal would pass. He could no longer go to public places
because he would always accidentally slam it in the car door,
trip over it or have it stepped on by pedestrians and passers
by. He was forced to live a life of seclusion and loneliness
until the day that he died. So Please pay attention to the
instructions on the package of this product. |
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